Balancing A Marriage And A Career
A good marriage can be built only by constant attention and
effort. It evolves, changes, and develops slowly over a period of time. It does
not develop overnight. The same applies to a good career.
A healthy relationship is about balancing the attention you
offer your spouse and your career. You have to effectively divide your time and
attention between your marriage and career if you want to succeed in both, and
the amount of time you offer each is governed by the circumstances of your
marriage as well as your marital and individual goals. It's not always an easy
thing to do! Managing a successful career and a marriage and family is a skill
that calls couples to make judgments that don't always work. In one corner you
need to spend a large amount of time and effort in the workplace to advance and
increase your salary and lifestyle, and in the other corner you need to spend
the necessary time at home cultivating the relationship and fulfilling both
yours and your partner's needs.
This is where problems begin. How much time do you devote to
your career? How much time do you devote to the marriage? Sometimes it feels as
though you are being pulled both ways. Many cannot manage both and sometimes
they even lose both. Too much time either way comes at the expense of the
other.
It doesn't have to be this way. If your communication is
clear and you plan properly, you can have it all.
These days companies expect more and more from their
employees. You are expected to work beyond your regular hours that may add up
to fifty or seventy hours a week. If you want to climb the career ladder you have
to be seen to be putting the hours in. In addition to this, the demands on your
income may be greater at an early stage in the marriage. A wife, young
children, childcare, schooling, rent or a mortgage, all of these things place a
large strain on the family income. You have to keep the job in order to not
just earn a living for yourself but to support your family.
Being an executive doubles or triples your burden. In fact,
the demands are greater and the stress is higher. You may be expected to oversee
projects, meet deadlines, do project reports, give presentations, etc. You may
spend an increasing amount of time everyday at your office to get all this
done. How will this affect your marriage?
With the increasing demands on income, it's increasingly
common to see both partners working long hours, and this can have a detrimental
effect on the relationship. The perception is that you are all working hard to
have a better life, but the cost of working long hours is that there is less
time to have a life!
Career advancement, workplace pressure, two-income families,
shift work, all of these are factors that can place pressure on marriages. But
if you are able to play it smart like some couples, you can have a successful
career and a stable marriage. All it requires is communication and balance.
There are couples that successfully manage their careers and
their marriages. Since both partners are busy during weekdays, they make it a
point to plan a specific date night each week so that they can spend some quality
time together. With this kind of an arrangement, you may look forward to the
date night and focus little on the days your spouse is not available.
Some couples come to an understanding by setting some ground
rules. You may set your schedule to work late nights two or three days in a
week. You may negotiate with your office if you are on a traveling job and
limit your travel to two or three trips per month. You may schedule to take
some of your leave in small increments so you can have long weekends away
together every few months.
The key to a successful marriage is in having clear
communication. Sit down with your partner. Make a budget. Talk about what you
need to do to pay the bills. Talk about what is expected of you in your job.
Talk about how your job is important when it comes to paying the bills and
funding your lifestyle. Talk frankly with each other about what is necessary
for you to reach your goals as a couple. Be clear about what your goals are.
Too many people believe if they work harder and earn more
money the marriage will get better. It's simply not true. Work to live, not
live to work. While it is great to have career goals and individual goals, they
need to be congruent with your marital goals. Talking and communicating with
your partner is the key to achieving balance, having the resources you need to
live, and the time available to enjoy it.
Communicate, negotiate, and find balance.
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