common marriage problems and their solutions-5 reason your spouse is pulling away.
You
live with your spouse. You see them every day. But why does it feel like lately
they have been a million miles away? How is it possible that common marriage problem and their solutions
this person you know so well has started feeling like a stranger?
And
most importantly, how can you get them back to you? There are several reasons
why your spouse may have been creating distance from you.
None
of these reasons are easy to hear, but the good thing is that you have the
POWER to do something about them. so it’s time to bite the bullet and take a
look at the top 5 reasons why your spouse may be pulling away from your
marriage, and what you can do about each one:
· Your spouse doesn’t feelappreciated by you- in a healthy marriage, each spouse feels
respected, valued and appreciated by the other. Your spouse needs to feel that
you love them for who they are (despite any faults) and appreciate the entire
good thing they do.
Think
about your interactions with your spouse at home. Do you tend to notice all the
helpful things they do, or are you most complaining about all the things they
HAVENT done?
When
complaints and criticism replace appreciation and respect, the warning bells
start to ring. So if you want to pull your spouse back and form a close
connection again, you need to start showing your appreciation for them. Try
your best to let any negatives go during this time and instead focus on your
spouse’s positives. You may be amazed at the change in their behavior.
· Your sex life isn’t great-
sex is also a vital element of a satisfying marriage. With sex come intimacy,
closeness and physical release. Unfortunately, there are many things that can
get in the way of an exciting and fulfilling sex life. Kids, work, tiredness,
conflict, and differences in sexual desire…the list goes on.
But
the effects of a lackluster sex life can be extremely damaging for a marriage.
In fact, this is the main reason for which men tend to stray (as well as a
smaller percentage of wives).
So
if your sex point has hit a low point, it’s important to try to get your mojo
back. In order to do this, you may have to talk about it with your spouse.
Find
a time where you are both calm, have no distractions and are alone, so you can
talk in private. Start the talk gently, letting your spouse know that you sex
life is important to you and you would like to come up with ways that can make
it better for both of you.
In
your discussion, try to openly express to one another what you are wanting in
the bedroom( in terms of sexual preferences, frequency of sex, etc) listen to
what your spouse is saying with no judgments.
Remember,
everyone is slightly different when it comes to sex and there is no right and
wrong. Instead, it is about working together to come up with the best way to
meet each of your needs.
Once
you have figured out what you want, identify anything that is currently getting
in the way of your sex life, and how you can clear these hurdles together. As
awkward, embarrassed, or vulnerable you may feel bringing sex up, it may be the
VITAL steps which brings you and your spouse back together.
· You have let yourself go-think
back to the person you were when you partner fell in love with you. Do you
still have all the great things going for you that you had back then? Do you
still make an effort to maintain your health, fitness and appearance?
Do
you still have an active social life and a few hobbies you are involved in? The
hard truth is that you have let a lot of these attractive qualities go over the
time you have been with your spouse, this may be the reason they have started
to lose interest and pull away from you.
They
may still be committed to you, but do not feel the same level of love they once
did. If this is the case, it’s time to start getting your most vibrant and
attractive self back again!
· Your spouse has other priorities-your
spouse’s distance from you may be at sign that they are not currently making
your marriage high enough priority, or are struggling to achieve a healthy
balance in their life.
A
lot of their time and attention may currently be taken up by work, children,
aging parents, friends or hobbies-which leave little quality time for your
marriage.
There
is no way around it-marriage needs time and attention to work. So it’s time to
have a talk with your spouse about each of your priorities and how you balance
your time.
Explain
to your spouse how you are feeling and let them know that you would like to
have quality time as a couple. If there are practical issues getting in the
way, such as conflicting work hours or childcare, see how you can negotiate to
come up with a better plan-your marriage is worth it.
· You are not meeting your spouse’semotional needs- when it comes to saving a marriage,
meeting each other’s emotional needs is the CRITICAL point we keep coming back
to. When a spouse feels that their emotional needs are not being met, the
warning bells will start to ring again. In fact, this is the situation in which
WIVES, in particular, may stray from their husbands.
Feeling
neglected, a woman may start to confide in a close male friend or colleague,
and before you know it their friendship turns into something physical.
Don’t
let this happen to your marriage. Make sure that you are giving your spouse
time and attention, listening to what they have to say, soothing them when they
are distressed, and giving them plenty of affection.
Turn
TOWARDS your spouse instead of away. I hope this common marriage problem and their solutions article has helped you
to recognize any danger signs that may have caused your spouse to start pulling
away from you-and what you can do to pull them back, until next time.
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