how to save your marriage alone-common marriage problems and their solutions.
While there are a lots of how to save your marriage alone things
you can do to keep married life as manageable as possible, there are plenty of
habits which can threaten the relationship.
More often than not, common marriage problems
come from unconsciously perpetuating certain behaviors which can become habit
forming.
Take money matters for example- it is no big
secret that many couples argue over this specific matter and has driven some to
split up because of this.
People in a marriage have to account for the
fact that they come from separate backgrounds and their respective families are
likely to have different views on money management.
Just like the other differences between
spouses, finance is unfortunately a good breeding ground for lots of arguments.
When you and your partner sent share the same idea of how money should be
earned, handled and spent it is easy for marital problems take root.
And so the only way to avoid the pitfall of
money related misunderstandings is to have a clear vision of how you will be
managing your collective income as a couple.
The challenge here is that two individuals in
the marriage have to reconcile not only their outlook on financial matters, but
their actual incomes as well. Paying attention to this particular area is one
of the most overlooked ways to prevent future problems in marriage.
As such, you will need to sit down with your
partner and start mapping out which specific areas will require more money than
others. Consequently, it will bring to light exactly how much you are both
making and if this will fit your proposed budget.
By making a solid financial plan that both of
you agree upon, you will learn to live within your means and save yourselves a
lot of headaches in the future.
Complacency is also one of the most common
marriage problems out there. It s all too frequent for a lot of marriages to
deteriorate over time due to severe lack of maintenance.
Think of your relationship as a car. Now,
this is a sizable investment which you have to take care of on a regular basis,
and not just when an actual problem comes up.
Your ride may be running smoothly today, but
without the periodic adjustments you will become vulnerable to the daily wear
and tear of living together. This in turn creates marital problems like
emotional distance and a lack of enthusiasm in the relationship.
It is very dangerous to assume that you will
eventually come to the point where you no longer have to maintain your
marriage. Whether you just got married last week or have been together for
decades, the relationship will always need constant care.
If you don’t, you may very well lose sight of
why you decided to exchange vows in the first place. A pro-active approach goes
a long way to keep problems in marriage from sneaking up on you.
This is why it’s vital to prevent marital
problems by habitually setting aside time to rediscover each other, even in
small ways. Make the effort to schedule little chunks of we time so that you
and your spouse don’t drift apart.
Couples often don’t realize that problems in
marriage take years in the making-until it’s too late, that is. Choosing to
live with someone for better or worse is a package deal, and with it comes the
need to keep the intimacy alive.
The two common marriage problems that we have
discussed are just a few of the things you need to watch out for. However,
other marital issues can also be overcome with this same precautionary
attitude.
The most typical issues never rear their ugly
head at the start of a relationship- it is when the familiarity has settled in
that certain problems slowly bubble to the surface.
Have you ever watched any of those reality
shows where the people eventually get over the initial pleasantries and start
to get on each other’s nerves?
That’s kind of how relationships are- once
the honeymoon period runs its course, things will gradually change right under
your nose. In time, you will realize that your marriage isn’t what it used to
be.
But take heart because this is a natural part
of human nature, not to mention the dynamics of marital relationships for that
matter. Like it or not, conflict comes with the territory.
To start learning about marriage problems and
coming up with their corresponding solutions, let’s take a look at some of the
most frequent issues that haunt a lot of couples.
For example, it’s very easy to let your other
duties and obligations get in the way of each other. Being responsible in the
other aspects of your married life can cause a couple to slowly lose their
sense of intimacy.
Between your respective careers, taking care
of the children and extracurricular activities, it can be hard to find time for
each other.
And this is a bigger threat than it seems.
Taking the marriage and one for granted will trigger a domino effect in the
greater scheme of things.
Pretty soon, everything else about the
marriage will start to crumble- ignoring these red flags long enough will catch
up to you in the form of an affair or an eventual divorce.
So no matter how crazy your schedule can get,
do your best to squeeze in some much-needed couple time at every available
opportunity.
Sharing half an hour every day to do
something together may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, these moments
add up in the general framework of your relationship.
Unspoken thoughts are also another frequent
problem which can undermine a marriage. Never think that it’s better to hold
your tongue and just let things slide without putting in your two cents.
Of course, expressing your feelings needs to
be done in a civilized manner without turning it into an attack against the
other person. Usually it boils down to good timing, such as casually bringing
up an issue during a moment where neither of you are agitated.
Remember, just because you feel bad and /or
believe that you are right doesn’t give you a license to just blurt out
whatever you want. Rather, you need to present your case in the most
constructive way by focusing on your feelings (as opposed to pointing any
fingers).
Although all couples need to face marriage
problems and come with solutions, these are character-building experiences that
will strengthen a relationship.
We shouldn’t forget that life in general is
meant to be difficult. The sooner a couple can accept the basic how to save your marriage alone truth,
the more aware they become aware of the marital pitfalls (and how to avoid
them).
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